Change

I am 9 month pregnant. It's the homestretch so to speak. I'm big, bloated, and tired. Walking is difficult thanks to the tremendous amount of pressure I feel on my pelvis. I complain constantly about all the aches and pains and swelling. The only thing that gets me by is just knowing that my baby will be here soon.

Having this child has been an emotional roller-coaster. In the beginning I was ambivalent to say the least. I was terrified and totally unprepared. I imagined a million good reasons to terminate the pregnancy. Hell, I even went so far as to make an appointment at an abortion clinic. March 10 was the date I was due to go into the planned parenthood in Brooklyn to "discuss" the procedure. Looking back now, I can see how very messed up I was.

When I realized I was pregnant I was in the middle of a two-year limbo. I was lost in more ways than one. I was smoking a lot of pot every day, I had no purpose, no drive, and I felt as hopeless as could be. I wasn't in a good place to say the least. Finding out I was knocked up only made me hit the floor- hard. I didn't see it then, but destiny placed me right smack in the middle of a fork in the road. On the one hand I had heard of the school opportunity which I was in no way taking seriously, and on the other was the mindless b.s. I was already accustomed to. I had to make a choice and I misguidedly thought the pregnancy was really an inconvenience which would deter me from accomplishing anything.

Oh man, was I wrong! In the course of the months which followed, my life- and perspective- changed drastically. While in school, this baby gave me a drive I would never have possessed otherwise. He has given my life a new meaning. Because of this pregnancy I was forced to quit smoking pot which helped me get my purpose and drive back.

Nowadays, I sit back and feel the incredible life that stirs inside of me and wonder at the incredible miracle that is my unborn child. I can't wait to meet this amazing person. I imagine what he will look like, and the kind of character he'll have. Mostly, I thank the Lord everyday, because I know that this kid has an important destiny. He's already touched his mother's life in such an incredible way. 

 Tell Me About It!

Have you ever had a situation in your life come up which was seemingly negative, only to have great things come of it?

Purpose

Since I was in the 7th grade I loved writing. It came easy to me, and I loved getting lost in words. My 7th grade English teacher was a huge inspiration to me as well. He was the first person (other than my parents) to acknowledge that I had talent. In addition, he made writing fun for me. I would hear compliments and praise for my writing up until college. For a while, I imagined that I would be a great author and publish many books. I even fancied becoming rich off of my efforts. It was a great dream, and one I wish I would have actively pursued.
However, the road I ultimately took wound up much different. Without going too deep into detail, I didn't finish college and up until recently didn't really know what to do with my life. At this point, I LOVE technology and am finishing my exams to become CompTIA A+ certified. It is my hobby and I really enjoy working with and around computers. In that respect, I'm a total geek!
I decided to start this blog because I'm on my maternity leave pending my third child. In order to not die of boredom, I decided to do something constructive. My mom actually recommended I start blogging a while back and I've finally decided to take her advice. (Thanks mom!)
I should tell you before officially ending this entry, that I will be updating a few times a week to start. This blog will mostly be dedicated to day to day things. Anything that provokes my thinking or feelings. Of course comments and questions are welcome.